Bush-Kerry 2004: election guide for wine lovers
| Despite the proliferation of special interest groups in US politics over the past few decades, one group that has been sadly underrepresented is wine enthusiasts! With all the politicians pandering to Joe Sixpack, how about some kissing up to John Halfacase?! To aid our cause, I have constructed a table on the key issues for wine lovers with a blend of mostly old-vine seriousness (60%) as well as a bit of hand-crafted humor (40%). On November 2, the choice is yours! |  |
| Bush | Kerry | Wine lovers’ choice | |
| Wine preference | Teetotaler | Presumably French | Kerry |
| Approach to trade | Protects domestic industries through selective tariffs | Free trader | Kerry |
| Approach to dollar | Past four years, decline. Helps sell more Gallo to unsuspecting foreigners. |
Presumably reinstate some form of Rubinomics, strong dollar, cheaper imports |
Kerry |
| Approach to interstate shipping of wine | Dazed and confused | For it | Kerry |
| Doing what after college | Swift bottle | Swift boat | Tie |
| In-laws | Brother-in-law head of Wine Institute | Heinz family | Tie |
| Color on electoral map | Red | Blue (Liebfraumilch?!) | Bush |
| Will win wine producing states California, Washington, Oregon and NY |
No | Yes | Kerry |
| Wine to go with candidate’s public image | Big, bold Aussie shiraz | Subtle white Burgundy | Tie |
| Iraq war coalition countries through wine-colored glasses | UK, beer; Australia, shiraz; Italy Barolos and Barbarescos | Presumably would add France, Germany; Spain? | Kerry |
| Alternative bottle closures, such as screwcaps | Prefers it the old fashioned way, with cork | Will take any alternative | Kerry |
| View on potential “No Wine Left Behind Act” | Would sign into law but only if it leaves all wine behind | Would vote for it but then against the funding | Tie |
| View on terroir | Must stamp out terroir wherever we find it | Bring it on! | Kerry |
Oct
25
2004
On January 3rd, 2008 at 11:15 am ,Dr Vino’s wine blog » Blog Archive » Red, white and blue wine: a wine lover’s guide to the presidential primaries wrote:
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